Today I bumped my head on the garage door.

More than ten years ago, when we were moving into this place, I measured how high the roller door of the garage had to be put up so that I wouldn’t bump my head on it.

It was easy to find the answer: I discovered that if the bottom of the door was one and a half bricks higher than the bottom of the garage windows, then there was one centimetre of clearance above the top of my head so that I could walk under the door without having to duck my head.  It is important to me to figure out in advance how much clearance there is around my body, since I have almost zero awareness of how far any part of my body extends in any given direction.

Apparently this is one of the facets of my autism: lack of spatial awareness.  For most of my life I was not aware that I was autistic.  However, for all of my life I have known that I have to set up my surroundings so that I will not accidentally bump into things as I go past them, around them, over them, under them.  If ever I forget to do this, I end up kicking something with my foot when I am expecting to walk past it or, as happened this afternoon, bumping my head when I expect to pass underneath something.

So, as I said earlier, I ascertained that one and a half bricks higher than the bottom of the windows will always let me pass safely under the garage door.  If I am wearing my hat, my hat will hit the door, but to me that is of little concern.

I have been telling my family until I am sure that they are all sick of hearing it, that the garage door should always be raised to that exact level.  And every time I raise the door it is placed very precisely at that level.

But today someone got lazy and left the door about an inch lower than it should have been.

So I was walking out to get into the car and banged my head on the door.  Wendy and Rosie were waiting in the car for me to join them.  The neighbour was walking along the common driveway. The reaction was instantaneous.  Wendy was very worried that I would have concussion; she was sure I went unconscious for a second.  I am equally sure I didn’t go unconscious at all.

As I analyse it, I was walking rapidly out towards the car when my head was unexpectedly stopped.  My body had momentum and continued moving forward while my head stopped still.  This meant that my body was out of balance and began to fall over backwards.  As I do not particularly like falling, I leaned against the other car (the one parked in the garage) to prevent myself from falling any further.  To me that was all that happened.  Although it gave me a momentary fright, I was over it in a second or two and ready to go out and get in the car.

It was not to be.  Because they all saw it happen, everyone’s reaction was almost frightening.  The neighbour wanted to know if she should call an ambulance to take me to hospital.  Wendy was terribly worried that I had concussion, therefore I must go inside and sit down; I could not go to the meeting I had been intending to go to in the car.  Rosie was all worried that I had hurt my head.

So, I cancelled my attendance at the meeting, went inside, sat down and ate two bananas to make me feel better!

Now here’s the funny thing: over the past ten years I have bumped my head on that door several times before when nobody else was around.  One time, I even fell over onto the floor as there was no car to lean on.  On every one of those occasions, I just shrugged my shoulders, muttered under my breath that some silly bugger ought to learn how to raise the door to the correct height, and continued on with going wherever I had planned to go next.  A couple of times I might have had a slight headache, but I soon forgot about that as I continued on with whatever I had planned to do.

This one time when I happened to have an audience to appreciate my performance does demonstrate something very important to me though.

My family loves me and cares for me.

Wendy loves me and cares for me.

Rosie loves me and cares for me.

Even my neighbour loves me and cares for me.  (And the awful thing is, I do not even know her name!)

Most of all, God loves me and cares for me. (Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. – Matthew 10: 29-30 NKJV) And I am worth more than a sparrow!